Rocket Science.

chuckfres3
Feb 5, 2017
2 min read

Toyota is a really, really, really BIG company. Bigly. You'd think their advertising partners would be more cautious in their phrasing, but that's actually not the case. Actually, using the word "actually" has been shown to actually kill your credibility. Instantly, actually. The fact that this copy editor felt it necessary to BOLD and CAPITALIZE the word ACTUALLY shows someone is asleep at the wheels, boys. I know you're trying to be cutesy in this issue of Wired Magazine, a favorite read for anime fans and underemployed Reddit users everywhere, but you've got to be aware that the rest of us - you know, the movers and shakers who have jobs and the finances to buy this experimental automobile - may have been turned off by your use of the word "actually." That was mistake number one. You should have completely omitted the word "actually" and emphasized the word "Is" and/or "rocket science."

Next up sports fans, Toyota is showing a complete lack of confidence by suggesting you "consider it" one giant leap for mankind. That was incredibly surprising, considering the sheer size and importance of Toyota to a Japanese society that values honor over everything. You never ask anyone to "consider" something, because that gives them a choice. You make your statement with your $60,000 full-page national magazine advertisement. Rephrased better: "One giant leap for mankind." Tell 'em like it us, my Asian brethren.

Finally, your poor car is sitting all alone on what looks like a flooded Italian plaza. Does it float? Does it leak? Does it perspire like I am wondering what the hell is going on here? Look, most educated non-Trump supporters understand the byproduct of a hydrogen engine is water, so that's a given. What would have looked better is a Mirai in an everyday situation, perhaps surrounded by the typical group of multi-ethnic millennials outside a not-so-flooded cafe.

Brevard Marketing would be happy to offer its consulting and proofing services to Toyota before you run your next national print advertisement. Not actually, but for real. Holla.

Here, I fixed this one: