Qualcomm is a little confused.

chuckfres3
Sep 21, 2017
2 min read

"Hey, buddy, you got anything from Qualcomm here?"

I could have saved Qualcomm a truckload of money. But Qualcomm didn't call me before they ran their grandiose eight-page spread in Wired magazine. I especially appreciated the image of a robot that looks like it's sitting on the toilet. Sure, there are some influencers who drive expensive cars and wear pricey watches who peruse the lauded pages of the tech industry's favorite fashion, style, and Star Wars junkie periodical. But in reality, Wired readers are a lot like you and me. That six or eight-page spread, whatever it was, was a wonderful help for my seventh grader's recycled art project. However, if Qualcomm is looking for any sort of return on such a sprawling advertisement, they'll be sadly disappointed. Here's why. First rule of advertising: know your audience. Sure, it's neat to pound your chest and yell about all the cool things your company does. General Electric does it quite well. And in some cases, industry advertising can help broaden your investor base. But this ad didn't do any of that. It posed rhetorical questions worded in questionable English, leaving most readers even more confused about what Qualcomm actually does. Its first question, "When your devices can think like people?" isn't really a question at all. Targeted to tech-savvy readers looking for information on the next Marvel movie, Kickstarter project, or Nest gadget, Qualcomm's ad missed its target altogether. Fortunately, I have a neighbor who works for the Atheros division of the Q, so I asked him what his company does. Apparently, they do lots with wireless networks and cellphone networks, along with many other cool techie things like Mufo or Mofo Wifi and other things I'm not smart enough to comprehend. Undoubtedly, it's a great place to work. But that's no excuse for violating rule two - an easily understandable message. I'm a tech guru, and frankly, I wasn't sure what Qualcomm's underlying message was. Finally, I'm still pondering the reason for purchasing all that really cool foldable inside front-cover space. Having some experience in print, I'd guess that spread ran Q's agency at least two to three hundred thousand bucks, if not more (of which they banked a fat 15 percent). Nice paycheck for a day's work. I have to wonder if Don Draper himself traveled into the future and promised Qualcomm that this ad would make them a household word. Was the intent for consumers to walk into Best Buy and ask for the latest Qualcomm product? Because there ain't none. Qualcomm, at least in the U.S., is pretty much innerds-only when it comes to consumer products. Qualcomm is very successful courting industrial companies. Why they were snookered into running a spread in a consumer magazine will leave many heads shaking for a long time to come. Qualcomm, next time, call us first. A single page would have done. Or better yet, save your money for R&D.